It seems achieving the simplicity I  desperately crave is an impossibly complicated task. 

I added the II to the title partly because it is a rewrite of the original poem but also because the search for silly things keeps repeating itself.

 

In search of benign things  II

A certain number of benign things
are always missing from my life:
Bookmarks and
Post-its
to save passages, I’d never, ever find again–

So I use
alcohol swabs
old accounts
business cards
belonging – embarrassingly –
to my psychiatrist
I never can find
the number for my pharmacy
my drug dealer
my latest payslip
except when it’s somewhere it shouldn’t be
How I’ve battled to find all those embarrassing things:
a condom
a tampon
a pad
– so I put some in my car –
God forbid my parents ever look there
not  even to mention:  a clean panty,
a comfortable bra (if only such a thing existed)

A certain number of benign things
keep escaping me
(not because of age, nor despite it):
maturity
responsibility
intimacy
monogamy
sobriety
solvency

sociability

But I play these cards
(despite the missing ones)
until I die hopefully
of
natural
causes

April 18, 2017